In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
