turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
