i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
