doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
