He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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