he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
