That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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