no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
