I want to make a zoo with you.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
