I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Randomize
