I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
