If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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