Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
