Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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