just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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