This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
