Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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