I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
