so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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