i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
