Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
