And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
