I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
