Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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