3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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