Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
