This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I will be naked everywhere
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
