So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
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