I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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