Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
