This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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