yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
