Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
