i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
