Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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