I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
