i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
