Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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