What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
