I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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