Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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