Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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