i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize
