I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
