If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
