nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
