Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
