Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
