can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
