is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
even my farts smell like vagina
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
