Kiss
Puke
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
