It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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