Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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