Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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