I want to walk on stilts...naked
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
