let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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